Trash-Talking Zucchini (Bread)

Okay...well...this is technically a quilting blog. One of my goals here is to completely and utterly confuse you on content! Mission accomplished? No...well I guess I have to try harder...

I have had the mother of all zucchini's sitting on my kitchen counter staring at me for the last three weeks. My mom sent it home with me from their garden thinking I could do something with it. Do what? I had no clue...So there it sat on the counter...just staring at me each time I passed by it. I had to reach over it to get to the chocolate milk powder. (don't judge)

I'm pretty sure it was whispering about me to the toaster:

"Hey she's never going to do anything with me! I'm going to sit here on the counter mocking her for weeks and she won't do anything about it!" "She also drinks Chocolate milk! What a loser!"

In reply, the toaster stayed silent. (he's a good little toaster, he never talks about me)

Then I started seeing all these recipes popping up for Zucchini bread...and the idea hit me...

To teach that trash talking zucchini a lesson.

I wish I had pictures of him getting cut up and shredded (horrific it was!) but I don't. Because let's be honest I'm writing this post as a follow up to the process, and didn't even think about sharing with you all until after the fact. I know...I'm horrible.

But this mother of all zucchini's (hereafter referred to as Joel) made six loaves of bread. Three separate batches, one heavenly smelling kitchen, and a but-load of dishes later, we have arrived at the recipe. (because that's how Joel would have wanted it...)

Zucchini Bread
(with pineapple and raisins)

• 3 eggs
• 1 cup oil
• 2 cups sugar
• 2 tsp vanilla
• 2 cups grated zucchini (Joel!)
• 1 cup crushed pineapple (optional, but makes it tastier! make sure to drain off the juice)
• 3 cups flour
• 2 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 2 tsp cinnamon
• 1 tsp nutmeg
• 1 cup raisins (again optional. You can substitute in chocolate chips here!)

1. Preheat oven to 350. Grease and flour two bread loaf pans and set aside. Mix together the sugar, eggs, oil, vanilla and spices.
2. Fold in Zucchini (joel!), raisins, pineapple and blend well. Add in the flour one cup at a time stirring after each addition until mixed well.
3. Pour into your two greased and floured pans
4. Bake one hour at 350 or until it passes the toothpick test
5. Cool in pans about fifteen minutes, then remove from pans onto wire racks to cool completely.

Like I said, I made triple batch and ended up with a lot of bread in my freezer.


I may or may not have eaten a slice (okay two...) before dinner. (for testing purposes of course!)


I may or may not have also eaten a few slices as I was writing this post to share with you all...


The world may never know...